Pretending Real Things

Jude is four now, and the flavor of the things he says is morphing along with his age. Here's a sampling from his third and fourth years (so far):

"Theo's head looks like a blueberry."

"I like this kind of baby. This is the baby that I wanted."

"I'm pretending real things."

"Can you go in the window room and stay there?" (He wanted to sneak chocolate chips from the cupboard.)

"I'm making this go away so you can't see it." (Said while spreading sand around that he wasn't supposed to throw out of the sandbox.)

TMI: "I made a J! I'm going to try to make a U." (This was said in the bathroom, and I'll let you guess what he was talking about.)

"Theo is like a little crumb."

"Fee's dream is to join the circus."

Talking about his little stuffed dog; "Do you know what Puppy doesn't do? Bite. If you put your hand by his mouth he licks it. If you put your hand here [by his nose] he does this. [Sniffs]. You can touch his fur like this. [Strokes gently.] Don't pinch Puppy. Only a teensy weensy bit."

I love this little dude.

Jude's World

A peek into Jude's head, using direct quotes from the past few weeks:

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Me: "Hey Jude, there's the moon."
Jude: "We can eat the moon."
Me: "Oh yeah?  What do you think it tastes like?"
Jude: "Chicken."

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[While eating macaroni and cheese with his fingers, and slurping each noodle into his mouth]:

"I'm eating grubs."

(inspired by his recent obsession with Timon and Pumbaa in The Lion King)

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[Randomly, from the backseat of the car:]

"I don't like ostriches when they're angry."

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Jono: "Jude, what do you want to be when you grow up?"
Jude: "I want gum, and I want coffee."

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[On his way back from the bathroom, spoken with detachment and nonchalance:]

"I put my finger up my bum."

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[After being discovered naked downstairs in the dark at 6am, playing Angry Birds on Daddy's phone:]

"Daddy is not taking his phone to work today."

...and,

 "There was a puwwwple biwwwd flying through the aiwww!" (still can't say his "r's", and he likes to draw them out when he does try to say them)

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[We've been having some talks lately about where God is and what it is, exactly, that he does.]

"When God put Theo's head on, did Theo cry?"

"God is gonna flyyy down from the moon and goooo into our hearts!"

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Amen.

his name is steve.

i was listening to NPR while driving to my parents' house with the boys.  there was a man being interviewed, and as he spoke about his area of expertise jude piped up from the back seat: "who's talking?"

"a guy," i replied. "i don't know his name."

there was a brief pause.

"his name is steve," jude said, deadpan and matter-of-fact.

i smirked to myself.  "oh, really?" i said, accommodating his make-believe world.

seconds later the woman conducting the interview said, "well, thank you steven for speaking with us..."

oh for heaven's sake.

a toddler's take on religion

Sound bite from the other night, after bedtime prayers:

Jude: "Is Jesus up there?"

Me: "Yes."

Jude: "Is Jesus in my bed?"

Me: "Yes.  He's everywhere.  Jesus is your friend."

Jude: "I'm gonna bite Jesus."

Okay then.

Keeping it Real

Last night, dinner was mostly finished and forks were scraping plates. Full to the brim, I scooted my chair back a bit to slouch and Jono caught sight of my mid-section. The following exchange took place:

Jono: "What's in Mommy's tummy?"
Jude: "A baby!"
Jono: "What kind of baby?"
Jude: "A black baby!"

...

[moment of silence]

Hands were clapped over mouths. Someone probably snorted. Jude concluded he was a comic genius, but with no idea why.

(Full disclosure: I was wearing a black shirt.)

More from Chatty Charles

I'm starting to keep a log of Jude Witticisms, lest I forget how humorous this time period has been for us. Thought I'd share. This first one is my personal favorites.

After Jono had just put him in his crib for the night...

Jude: "Are you going to school now Daddy?"Jono: "No, I'm going downstairs."
Jude: "Are you gonna go play with my toys?"
Jono: "Yep."
Jude: [anxious look]
Jono: "Don't worry. I'll put them away when I'm done."
Jude: "Okay."

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While changing a dirty diaper...
Jono: "Where did this come from?!"
Jude: "I made it!"
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As I'm nibbling on his cheek...

Jude: "Mommy. That's enough."
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With leg in the air like a 50's housewife after she sees a mouse...

Jude: "There's an ant!! It's not scaring me."
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[Bunches up a blanket to form a small bump]

Jude: "This is my nose."
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Jude: "It's windy out here. Oooo, look at the red flowers! The wind is blowing them up to the sky! Are we gonna see the fishies? Oooo, he's on a swing. He's swinging!"

(What he said on the way in to the pediatrician's office after seeing red tulips outside, remembering there's a fish tank in the waiting room, and seeing a mural on the entryway wall of kids playing as we walked in - respectively. He had a 102-degree fever and respiratory virus, but he was still talking a blue streak :)

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On the way in for a chest x-ray after the doc appointment:

Jude: "Are we gonna eat? My tummy's gonna gurgle."
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(Yay for asthma, right? He's a good sport.)

A Sampling from the Peanut Gallery...

Quote-Unquote:


When it's raining: "It's waining."
When it's sunny: "It's sunning! It's sunning in my eyes!!"

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"Daddy is crunchy." (i.e. stubbly.)

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"Shall we go?"
(Repeated often while wiping away tears during our latest ER visit - asthma related - which of course included rectal temp-taking.)

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"Nice boobies, Mommy."
(Also, "Oooooo, boobies!!")

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"Oooo... I like your boots, Mommy. Do you like my boots?"
(Also, "Do you like pine needles? I like pine needles", etc.)

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"Don't touch my belly button!"

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After kicking Mona in the neck and getting reprimanded for it: "Can I say sorry to Mona?"
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"I want Larry the Cucumber." (asking for a cucumber slice)

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I'm a Wumor Weed! (yelled enthusiastically after Veggie Tales line, "I'm a Rumor Weed!)

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Pointing at his foot: "There's my tiny fweckle."

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"Daddy's big. Mommy's big. Jude is little."
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J: "I wanna play hhhing-hhhong."
M: "What's hing-hong?"
J: "A little ball."

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"I don't like my double chin. I wanna take it off." [pulls at chin]

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"I'm not a lumberjack. I'm Bob!"

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Okay then. I love you, Bob. Keep 'em coming.

awakening

The Little Fam - Christmas 2010
(I am so grateful)

It's the end of the year, and I've been doing some reflecting. There has been no New Year's Resolution-making. That's self reflection, and as important as that can be, it isn't the sort of thing I've been doing lately. I'd like to read more and be more crafty, but at the moment those things seem insignificant.

In some ways this year and part of last year were filled with loss. But I think we're coming out on the other end now, stronger and loving each other more. These were gains.

I don't want to dwell on the losses, but I can't ignore them. Most of it has happened over the past three months, but since last summer, 2009, we've experienced job loss, two cars gone bad, loss of a friend, pregnancy loss, the passing on of Jono's grandpa, lots of sickness thanks to daycare, and some (major) compromise of our ideals for how we'd like to raise our family.

The gains, on the other hand, were qualification for a government program or two (ha), learning how to be gentle with each other, and the trust we needed to generate for one another and for God. Also, a certain reverence for the concept of a part-time stay at home parent. If we ever have this good fortune again, we will never take it for granted.

I am looking forward to a new year. I'm not going to stop eating ice cream, so that's one thing to be happy about. What I'm anticipating is a light that is coming, and it's so bright I can't see what's in front of me. I don't want to see it, I just want to get through it.

Happy New Year. It's going to be good.

Thanks for reading.

i thank You God for most this amazing
day: for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a blue true dream of sky; and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes

(i who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun's birthday; this is the birth
day of life and love and wings: and of the gay
great happening illimitable earth)

how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any -- lifted from the no
of all nothing -- human merely being
doubt unimaginable You?

(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)

- e.e. cummings

Easy answer.

From The Economist Black campaign, developed at Abbot Mead Vickers BBDO, London. More here.

Read this over and over:

"The big lesson in life baby, never be scared of anyone or anything."
- Frank Sinatra

A Wise Old Man

"Remember that when you leave this earth, you can take with you nothing that you have received ... but only what you have given: a full heart, enriched by honest service, love, sacrifice, and courage."

St. Francis of Assisi