Things Have Changed...

...everyone else is on vacation in warm places and you're excited that your husband offered to take the baby for most of a Saturday so you could organize the basement.

...nothing fills you with more glee than when your kiddo goes down for a morning nap so you can run around like a chicken with its head cut off "getting things done" for an average of 30 savory minutes.

...your hubs gets home from work and your heart literally jumps out of your chest with excitement that you'll get to hand the babe off to him when he walks in the door -- then falls somewhere below your knees when you realize he's decided to split wood for 30 minutes in the backyard instead of coming in.

...said hubs becomes unsettled when he notices wife and babe are plastered against the sliding glass door boring four holes into the back of his head as he splits said wood, and he feels a wee bit of pressure to make his way into the house sooner rather than later.

...you still can't believe how big your boobs are, and have to keep reminding yourself that they will eventually go away.

... you forget to wear a tank top under some of your favorite pre-baby shirts, and notice later that the buttons around your bust-line are about to pop open. The gaps between each one are so big pretty much everyone can see your son's lunch buffet area.

...what you consider quality "alone time" becomes the ten minutes you spend in the shower with the babe in an infant seat outside the shower curtain. Whom you must soothe every 30 seconds by keeping the curtain partially open so he can see what you're doing.

..."reading a book" becomes the 20 seconds in bed before you pass out like a drunken sailor.

...you must now use the bathroom in the company of another tiny person who is lying on the bathroom rug staring at you.

...you use morning nap time to write a blog post instead of working and feel extremely guilty about it.

...your husband's asthmatic night-time breathing sounds exactly like the beginnings of a baby fussing in the next room and you can't stop yourself from tensing up every 3 seconds because of it.

... even though the bod isn't what is used to be, you figure you can still get away with wearing your two-piece swimsuit this summer. People will lend you a little grace when they see you on the beach with the baby you recently pushed out of it.

...your prayer life has gone significantly downhill as it now revolves around asking God to put your baby into an 8-hour stupor for the night.

...it seems whenever you sit down to nurse, the phone rings, the dog whines to be let out and someone knocks on the door, and you're completely paralyzed by the indecision of which need to address first.

...you are blinded by a huge wave of jealousy when another new mom "can't believe how long my baby's naps are".

...you can't believe this chubby, bald, two-foot tall creature is part of you and always will be, and the love you have for him is sometimes terrifying because of all the things that could happen to him.

...you don't know how it's possible that this is the most work, time, and love you've ever lavished on anything, you've never been more exhausted in your life, and yet there are moments where you feel deliriously happy about it.

... your shower looks like a sasquatch was in there last. There's a lot of post-partum hair coming out of your head, and you figure it's only a matter of time until you look like Demi Moore in G.I. Jane.

... an hour after the babe goes to bed for the night, you miss him already, and must go in to stare at his fat little sleeping face.