I was convinced the terrible twos would be a myth for us. He was growing up to be such a gentle boy. Not a people-pleaser, per se, but careful and loving.
He still is, sometimes, and I'm sure he'll continue to be somewhere in the future. But for the moment, a lethal combination has taken place. He's two now. He's in full-time daycare. The results? Bad habits and sass. I'm being a little dramatic, but there are days.
The reason I'm partially blaming Donna's house is Carmine. Carmine's dad left his mom and he's a little angry. I don't mean to make light of that - it's just the way it is for him.
Carmine takes out some of his aggression on the younger kids by hitting them, and he is habitually disobedient and sassy with Donna. When Carmine lashes out, Jude sits there in part shock, part worship mode. Then he comes home, has a meltdown, kicks, swats and yells at his parents, mostly "no" and "mine". Mona gets bossed too, but it rolls right off her. She's a little sassy herself.
Donna claims he's almost perfect in her care, and that he's happy all the time. Perhaps she's suffering from relativism, although I do think Jude is a very good boy over there - sometimes he's better in groups. I'm grateful for that. But lately, when he gets home, something shifts. Maybe he's blowing off steam and stress from his day. Maybe it's his age, I don't know. He's extra naughty right now and I'm adjusting to the idea of my new sassy son.
The other day I put a new photo of him up by my desk at work with a classic, smirking look on his face (yep, that's the one, just above this post). It partly makes me miss him and partly makes me cringe. There's an undeniable naughty glint in his little eyeball. I guess we could call it "personality".
He does still have a hint of compassion in his heart, and I'm nurturing it like nobody's business. When he swats at me I'm either very firm or I pout a bit, depending on his mood. If I pretend to be sad about it, he'll say "Okay Mommy?" (i.e. are you okay?). Then he'll usually let me hug him. How is it possible to go from full-on frustration to having your heart melted in three seconds?
Oh, my dear boy. I love you. But seriously, cut the sass. Mama's tired.
3 comments:
Ah, mama, they do break your heart sometimes.
You are doing good.
Jude is mimicing, responding, trying, learning ... he is learning what the limits are. That is good.
I know it's hard.
He will come through it.
Hugs to you, best mama.
And give that little personality a hug from his grandma and tell him Grandma K loves him :).
Thanks Jan. I will squish him good for you. We need to talk, don't we?
Yup ... anytime.
Been there a few times myself. OK, more than a few :).
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